So today happens to be an extremely slow news day, and you know what happens on extremely slow news days? IPHONE APP REVIEWS!!! Today we’ll look at Paper Toss by Backflip Studios, currently the #1 Free App on the App Store. Of course we can’t just do a normal review, that would be too boring! Today’s review is done in the style of a game journalist who goes off on tangents.

Also if you find this stuff exciting you might want to check out Golgocast, our new podcast.

So today we’re looking at Backflip Studios’ exciting paper tossing simulator, Paper Toss. The basic goal of Paper Toss is to toss a wadded piece of paper into the onscreen trashcan. Every successful toss gains you one point, and if you keep shooting without missing your score increases. This seemingly simple gameplay does remind me of a story though. I was working my first Corporate job, a simple job that only had me filing and answering phones. One day I was engaging in the same activity that this game simulates and my boss walks in. My boss was an older woman, I’d say around 50 years old, who had greying wispy hair which fell to her man-like shoulders. Her face was that of a snapping turtle, her eyes sharp and piercing, and her build was that of a board. She wasn’t the nicest woman in the world, but that day proved to be different. Or I thought. She saw me throwing paper wads in a trashcan and fired me. I then found another job cleaning rotary phones for the grandson of Thomas Edison, but that’s another story altogether.

Now where were we.

There are three difficulties, easy, medium, and hard. These three difficulties dictate how far away the trashcan will be, and also increase the force of the fan. I haven’t mentioned the fan before, everytime you go to shoot the fan has a specific wind speed and direction. This speed can be anywhere from .08 to 5.8, and affects how you will take your shot. While .7 does not really affect you on easy and medium, on hard you will have to take it into account when you take your shot. You can also submit your high scores online, but please be careful if you do. I got into an argument with someone I beat in a PvP match once, and they found out where I lived. One night I heard footsteps and saw three guys in my backyard with baseball bats approaching my backdoor. Having just seen Batman Beings I followed the teachings of Ra’s Al Ghul and stuck to the shadows. When the first one passed by me I clocked him in the back of the head with a blackjack, but as he fell another heard and came towards me. I quickly dispatched the second intruder with an open palm to the sternum followed by a vicious uppercut. I then came upon the third one in my living room, he saw me coming in so we immediately squared off. As we were about to fight I saw he employed the Laughing Turtle style of Kung-Fu which is the natural counter to my Shifting Fox style. Shortly after that the police arrived so we never had to fight, but I did have to serve a couple years in prison on a manslaughter rap (I hit the first guy a bit too hard).

Paper Toss definitely deserves its Number 1 spot on the App Store, you generally don’t find a quality free App that is this much fun. Below are some screens if you care to see what it looks like, but really if you have an iPhone you should just download it.