*EDITOR’S NOTE* While a decent article, I tend to find anything not written by me fair game. Keeping this in mind I decided to add some commentary. Enjoy! – Cory

So, I picked up PixelJunk’s latest game on the PSN, PixelJunk Shooter.  I’ve played the  other PJ games in the past like Racers, Monsters and Eden, so I figured this would be worth  the 10 bucks, and it was.The game is short *Insert cheap joke*. and was beaten by my brother *O_O* and me in less than a few hours *Not as interesting*. Which *Please remember tense, and use the correct pronoun next time* left me thinking that it might not be worth the $10 I spent on it *It wasn’t*. 

After reminding myself how much a movie costs these days *Less than that* I figured one  night of some solid gaming for two *how romantic* (technically three since my girlfriend *12  year olds shouldn’t be referred to as a “girlfriend” but rather a jail sentence* was watching)  was worth it.

Like I originally said, the game’s short *It’s all you’ve said*.  It was four areas with about five levels each *I’ll be damned*, laid out in traditional Super Mario World style *Oh, the imagery!*. The idea behind it is that you fly a little ship on a rescue mission to pick up lost miners *like your girlfriend?* on an alien planet. You find out along the way  that there was intelligent life on this planet, which has now all been killed *OH NOES!*. 

The ending is abrupt *spoilers* and made me feel like I may have missed something *You did, I’m sure.* The controls were spot on *For a mongoloid*.  You use the left analog stick to control your movement and the right to control your direction *Well, that’s just completely backwards!*.  It’s somewhat reminiscent of very old*-*school Asteroid *Who the fuck played Asteroids?*.  L1/L2 picks shit *You rebel* up with a grapple, and R1/R2 shoots shit.  You hold down R1/R2 to shoot missiles.  Ammo is limitless, but you overheat if you rapid*-*fire too many missiles. 

There’s no life bar, just an overheat meter *Which could be construed as a life bar*.  You have to avoid lava *I’d recommended for you to dive into it*, and you can ‘replenish’ your ‘health’ *contradiction #27* by dipping into some water.

The liquid effects of this game are pretty damn impressive for how cutesy the game looks.  The liquid *another unnecessary adjective*  physics only adds to it.  There are 3 types of liquid: magma, water, and some crazy-ass magnetic oil shit *Two “shits” now. Coincidentally I don’t give “two shits”*.

Altogether *Sequential writing straight out of 8th grade… AFFIRMATIVE* this game was fun, but not challenging.  You can fully complete each level by rescuing all the little helpless bastards and collecting all the little gems, but there’s really no payoff *So why’s this game worth $10?*.  If you rescue specially named little dudes *Named what?*, you get to see them again and read their pointless dialogue *Possible title for this article?* in the ‘gallery’ section of the main menu.

To sum it up…  The gameplay is worth the 10 bucks *again why?*, but the obvious allusion to a sequel will leave you wanting more *You JUST SAID IT DIDN’T!*.  The extras seem like they’re trying to be there, but really fall flat.  It’s got a retro feel, without the same challenge that old*-*school games provided…

And the liquids are pretty. *You jerk off to little boys*