*EDITOR’S NOTE* While a decent article, I tend to find anything not written by me fair game. Keeping this in mind I decided to add some commentary. Enjoy! – Cory
So, I picked up PixelJunk’s latest game on the PSN, PixelJunk Shooter. I’ve played the other PJ games in the past like Racers, Monsters and Eden, so I figured this would be worth the 10 bucks, and it was.The game is short *Insert cheap joke*. and was beaten by my brother *O_O* and me in less than a few hours *Not as interesting*. Which *Please remember tense, and use the correct pronoun next time* left me thinking that it might not be worth the $10 I spent on it *It wasn’t*.
After reminding myself how much a movie costs these days *Less than that* I figured one night of some solid gaming for two *how romantic* (technically three since my girlfriend *12 year olds shouldn’t be referred to as a “girlfriend” but rather a jail sentence* was watching) was worth it.
Like I originally said, the game’s short *It’s all you’ve said*. It was four areas with about five levels each *I’ll be damned*, laid out in traditional Super Mario World style *Oh, the imagery!*. The idea behind it is that you fly a little ship on a rescue mission to pick up lost miners *like your girlfriend?* on an alien planet. You find out along the way that there was intelligent life on this planet, which has now all been killed *OH NOES!*.
The ending is abrupt *spoilers* and made me feel like I may have missed something *You did, I’m sure.* The controls were spot on *For a mongoloid*. You use the left analog stick to control your movement and the right to control your direction *Well, that’s just completely backwards!*. It’s somewhat reminiscent of very old*-*school Asteroid *Who the fuck played Asteroids?*. L1/L2 picks shit *You rebel* up with a grapple, and R1/R2 shoots shit. You hold down R1/R2 to shoot missiles. Ammo is limitless, but you overheat if you rapid*-*fire too many missiles.
There’s no life bar, just an overheat meter *Which could be construed as a life bar*. You have to avoid lava *I’d recommended for you to dive into it*, and you can ‘replenish’ your ‘health’ *contradiction #27* by dipping into some water.
The liquid effects of this game are pretty damn impressive for how cutesy the game looks. The liquid *another unnecessary adjective* physics only adds to it. There are 3 types of liquid: magma, water, and some crazy-ass magnetic oil shit *Two “shits” now. Coincidentally I don’t give “two shits”*.
Altogether *Sequential writing straight out of 8th grade… AFFIRMATIVE* this game was fun, but not challenging. You can fully complete each level by rescuing all the little helpless bastards and collecting all the little gems, but there’s really no payoff *So why’s this game worth $10?*. If you rescue specially named little dudes *Named what?*, you get to see them again and read their pointless dialogue *Possible title for this article?* in the ‘gallery’ section of the main menu.
To sum it up… The gameplay is worth the 10 bucks *again why?*, but the obvious allusion to a sequel will leave you wanting more *You JUST SAID IT DIDN’T!*. The extras seem like they’re trying to be there, but really fall flat. It’s got a retro feel, without the same challenge that old*-*school games provided…
And the liquids are pretty. *You jerk off to little boys*
My favorite part is the editor’s grammatical errors. LOL
Fixed…
I feel like you just took a shit on one of my favorite games.
You neglected to explain some of the best parts of this game. What about the music? Did you pick up on the progressing tone?
And for the fluid dynamics “the liquids are pretty”? WHAT!? I distinctly remember how I felt the first time I made a man-made volcano in this game.Its completely awesome, flexible and open ended This really doesn’t do it justice.
How could you not even mention the “Suits”? There are 4 Suits that the game revolves around. Also, there are more elements and abilities in play than are not mentioned here(like steam, ice, magnets and the grapple).
This cant really be a review, I realize this is a half joke(with Cory’s comments) but if anyone reads this and then decides to not check the game out, please forget what you just read and check another site first
First, I get how you think I missed some things like the music, ice, gas, and not jizzing on my shiny new dualshock controller over the fluid dynamics… The game was a fun retro style shooter that didn’t pose enough of a challenge.
Second, It definitely does not revolve around the suits. You get each suit maybe twice.
I think it could have used more fast-paced and precarious situations… Again, was it worth $10 bucks? Yes. Do I see myself caring enough to try to find all the secrets and get the achievements? No.
There were actually three shits: “and R1/R2 shoots shit”
Four, if you count Cory.
three shits? haha what? sorry I’m confused, if you mean’t suits, no there are 4(spoilers!) magma,water,magnetic & zen…. 4 shits.
whoops, never mind that last one..(i was tired/stupid)…anyways, Yah i can se how just getting trophies might not be enough motivation for some people to try the extended goals (like not letting anyone die, or finding all the diamonds)And that seems to be where the real challenge in this game comes from. If they find a better carrot on a stick for the sequel, i bet you’ll really enjoy it, because I had the most fun in this game going though each level for the second time.