I was probably around twelve or thirteen-years-old when I played my first Final Fantasy game.  Before then, I mainly messed around with the stuff every kid played – Super Mario, Zelda, Punch-Out!!, Street Fighter, etc.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m a fan of nearly every game that was on a Nintendo system in the 90’s, but it wasn’t until I tried my hand at Final Fantasy VIII on the Sony PlayStation that I really felt an overwhelming sense of awe from playing a video game.  It was as if everything I’d played up until that moment lacked a key element that Final Fantasy was finally able to introduce: soul.  I’ve never felt such an urge to play something until I’d had my first taste of Final Fantasy VIII at a friend’s birthday party.  I swapped the festivities of that particular shindig for a PlayStation controller and some sweet solitude in an empty bedroom with a 16-inch television.  And I fell in love with video games that day.

I’ve been hooked since.  After pouring over a hundred hours of my life into FFVIII, I begged my mom to buy me VII.  I always get crap for saying it, but I was so incredibly unimpressed with that game that it didn’t seem as “Fantasy” as its successor.  It had an over-convoluted plot that moved slower than molasses in winter.  Square had betrayed me.  Moreover, my FRIENDS had betrayed me for recommending such a game.  I gave the series another shot by the time IX rolled around, but once again didn’t feel that same satisfaction I got the first time I played FFVIII.  I was initially turned off to the design of the characters and the horrible limit-break system they’d developed called “Trance”.  It’d be years later before I played Final Fantasy IX again, but when I did I made my peace with it and appreciated it for what it was: an enjoyable title in the Final Fantasy library (and one of my all-time favorites now).  Though my allegiance to Square was wavering after being disappointed by VII and IX, I still felt an addiction forming to RPGs and started shopping around outside of Final Fantasy titles to see if anything could be as good.

I remembered why I became completely infatuated with video games when the tenth installment in the Final Fantasy series was released.  Again, I was addicted to playing a game until I wore my thumbs down to the bone.  I fell in love all over again.  The battle system was perfect, the story was compelling, and the characters felt human and believable again.  It arose such similar feelings I had to VIII, and that made me happy.  And just as I thought Square couldn’t hurt me again, the first online Final Fantasy game came out and I once more felt let down.  You will never hear me admit that Final Fantasy XI is a game deserving of its place amongst its far-superior brothers and sisters of the same name.  To me, it’s a wolf in sheep’s clothing…  An MMO snuck in and put on a pretty jacket with the words “Final Fantasy” embroidered on it and tried to blend in.  I wasn’t fooled, and I resolved to never go near it.

So eventually, like most people, I grew up and my tastes started to change.  I wanted an older game, with older characters, and a more mature plot.  Something I could feel more connected to. Square (which had become Square Enix by this time) announced Final Fantasy XII and looked like it was going to answer my prayers.  You can’t imagine my utmost disappointment when I popped the game into my PS2 and realized that after playing for five hours, I wasn’t playing a Final Fantasy game.  I was playing Star Wars with a horrible battle system that borrowed too much from my arch-enemy, Final Fantasy XI.  I would’ve felt a little better about this game if I were playing as the suave, confident and self-entitled “leading man” Balthier (A.K.A. Han Solo), but I wasn’t.  I was playing as one of the pointless and annoying droids, Vaan (I thought of him as C-3PO because both were grating and extremely effeminate).  I never beat the game because I got sick of the stale plot and dungeon crawling.  I tried to blame it on the fact that Square merged with Enix, but I think it would’ve sucked the same regardless.

I’m ashamed to say that I’ve never gone back and played any older Final Fantasy games.  I gave the FFIII remake for the Nintendo DS a shot a few years ago, but couldn’t really get too into the story.  The plot was too generic for me – a common reason most people won’t play older RPGs, and the very same reason I won’t play the first two Final Fantasy games.  I’ve wanted to give the remakes of IV and VI a shot on the DS and GBA, but just haven’t had the time.  And even though I’m a VII hater, I’d still play it again if it were remade for the PS3 (which we all know it will be someday).

But I can’t focus on the past when the future of RPGs is within arms’ reach.  With Final Fantasy XIII’s announcement at the 2006 E3 conference I nearly had a heart-attack.  I started immediately plotting a way to save up enough to buy a PS3 to play it. It was the best looking game I’d seen up until that point, and I knew I as soon as I played it that I would love it.  Why?  It looked like Final Fantasy VIII, just from the trailer alone.

Since its release in Japan, I’ve heard a lot of criticisms of it so far… many mixed reviews.  I keep hearing “If you liked Final Fantasy X, you’ll like XIII.”  Sounds like good news to me.  But then I hear people complain that the plot is too linear, that important content in an RPG has been sacrificed in favor of a game enriched with plot and character development.  I’m a little wary on how a couple of the characters look and act, the things I’ve heard about the battle system being so different, and the fact that there are no towns.  I’m willing to cast aside everything I’ve known about every Final Fantasy game I’ve played and expect something different from this.  I’d rather have no towns at all than several where you can only talk to ten people out of a thousand (I’m looking at you, FFXII).  I think that there are some traditions that need to be respected in the world of Final Fantasy and XIII will be dynamic and different enough to stand out from its predecessors while honoring the franchise it’s a part of.

I’ve been playing these games for over ten years.  I’ve loved them, tolerated them and even hated them as they’ve come out.  Every little thing I see or hear about XIII is mustering up an old excited feeling in me, the very same one I had the first time I played Final Fantasy VIII.  I’m hoping it’ll be the pinnacle of the entire Final Fantasy series because I don’t think Square has made their perfect game that they’ve wanted to make yet.  But all I can really do is hope, and if it isn’t that great, hope instead that Final Fantasy XIV or XV will be the game that XIII could’ve been.

I’m looking forward to March 9th, 2010 like it’s Christmas Day.  I don’t think I’ll be disappointed again.