Mass Effect 2 is a wonderfully enthralling game in the sense that whatever you say and do has an impact on the game and future games in the series. It’s a rare game where I actually think very carefully about what I am going to say, and probably the only game ever that I have actually saved my game before having a conversation with a character in fear that I will set in motions a chain of events that I don’t want to happen. Dialogue options are almost endless in the game, and while it is cool that you can choose to be an asshole or a nice guy while saving the universe there is more to the game – gratuitous sex! 
 
The first Mass Effect made headlines when it came out in 2007 because it allowed the main character, Shepard, to have sex with certain characters in the game. The original game even contained a lesbian sex scene. Mass Effect 2 offers up even more options for sexual encounters, and I am here to guide you through them. When you’re going on a suicide mission to save the galaxy, you’re gonna need a little action along the way. I will only be guiding you through the options of a male Shepard, because I’m a guy.  Also ….Spoilers!

Jack

You first encounter Jack when you help spring her from prison. The crew is surprised to find out she is a guy. She isn’t much to look at, unless you are into bald girls that have inked up their entire body. Jack’s also an asshole. She swears constantly, she has an attitude, she doesn’t follow orders and she loves to kill. You don’t have to do much sweet talking with Jack, nor will you have to worry about a “relationship” after. Jack appears to like it rough as well, and judging by the dialogue options she is open to threesomes. She could probably do some crazy stuff with her advanced biotic abilities. 
 
Final Judgement: Shepard has better options than this psycho. 

Tali  

At no point during my initial play-through of Mass Effect 2 did I think of Tali as a sexual object. Maybe because we can never see her face or any of her skin. Tali is a Quarian. Quarians have week immune systems so they have to wear full body suits in order to avoid disease. A chick in a full body suit doesn’t really do it for me, but if you’re the type that really loves the Darth Vader type then this may be a viable option for you. Tali has a better personality than Jack, but she clearly has no idea how to act in romantic situations. When you push for an intimate moment with Tali, she first has to “research” how it is possible. I would classify that as a huge fucking red flag. When you make the jump through the Omega Relay, Tali appears in your cabin for your intimate moment. Before you two start she rambles on about how nervous she is and how she had to hop herself up on antibotics just to perform – talk about a mood killer. Shepard ends up taking off Tali’s mask, but we never actually she what she looks like. 
 
Final Judgement: Call me shallow, but since I have no idea what Tali actually looks like I’ll pass. Wouldn’t want to remove her mask and be unpleasantly surprised. 
 
Miranda 

Now we’re talking. From the moment I first saw Miranda in this game I knew a sex scene was going to be possible with her. Judging from the fact that she is pretty attractive for a video game character, I made sure I chose my dialogue very carefully. Miranda is hot, and probably the most viable sexual option in the game – but she is a lot of work. Miranda is a tease, she’ll get you all worked up and then tell you “I need more time.” This happens multiple times in the game. At other moments in the game you have to take Miranda’s side on an issue, even when you want to tell her to shut the hell up, or else you’ll get nowhere. I’m sure we, as guys, have all had this experience in real life. The Miranda sex scene is probably the most rewarding, mostly because she is normal looking. She also removes her shirt during the sex scene revealing a black-laced bra, nice to know she packed that on her mission to save the galaxy. 
 
Final Judgement: She’s just hot enough that she is worth your time. 
 
Kelly Chambers 

I know what you’re thinking, “who the hell is Kelly Chambers?” She’s your personal assistant, the one that stands next to the galaxy map and kindly informs you when you have a message and when one of your crew needs to talk to you. At some point you can sweet talk Kelly into the point where you two have dinner together. We never actually see the dinner scene, but the next day we see Kelly yawning and telling you how she “had not stayed up that late since college.” We all know what that means. 
 
Final Judgement: We never actually see a sex scene, but Kelly Chambers also requires the least amount of work. You don’t have to complete any missions from her, she doesn’t make you wait and she isn’t much work. Sounds like a winner to me.