There will not be any spoilers in this post because there is nothing to spoil in a game. Last month, a month that has probably one of the biggest gaming has seen in a long time, the internet was abuzz in discussions filled with spoilers about Mass Effect 2 and Heavy Rain. These games contain as much story as any game possibly could. Yet, the story isn’t supposed to be the apex of video game discussion.

Any gamer could tell you the story to The Legend of Zelda. It’s about an eleven year old boy traveling the world and collecting things to defeat Ganon and save the princess. The most important part of this narrative, however, is not defeating Ganon. Past experience will already tell you that Link saves Zelda. Knowing that Ganondorf gets stabbed in the head at the end of the game doesn’t make me stop playing.

Zelda’s emphasis is about going through the world and collecting heart pieces, weapons, and other fun items. After perusing the menu screen, the player knows that gathering items is going to be their key objective for a majority of the game. Because this knowledge is gathered early, there is nothing in this game to spoil.

As a game, Mass Effect 2 is also spoiler-proof. As a player, Commander Shepard will meet and recruit a bunch of awesome aliens to join his party, he will go to funny planets and make the population a little bit happier, and then he will fight some major bad guy and (maybe) live to see another day. He can also make the galaxy a crappier place; it depends on who he decides to shoot. Gamicly, these are the beats of action in Mass Effect 2.

The narrative, however, is where people get their panties in a bunch about spoilers. As Shepard goes about saving the world, a bunch of crazy shit happens (or doesn’t happen) that makes Shepard’s life a little bit harder. Ultimately, every choice Shepard has to make follows a simple path dictated by who Shepard decides to kill. Those choices branch out into other characters dying, but it all boils down to the player. Nothing is spoiled because the player dictates the events in the game.

Going back to Zelda on NES, the player could spend the whole game in the first area dealing with the Octorok. The player can dodge the rocks the enemy fires, or they can deflect it with his shield. The player could do these two things until the game’s internal battery dies. It doesn’t make a particularly interesting game, but knowing that this is an option doesn’t spoil the game.

People who get fussy over spoilers are playing video games for the wrong reasons. If people want a story-heavy experience, read a book. If someone want to personally interact in a world, and this world has an interactive structure based around the players actions, play a game. The interactive structure may be blended with an epic storyline, but games are about first-person experiences. Not authored narratives.

Nintendo knows what games are ultimately about. Zelda’s structure is wonderful. Pokemon gives you a predicable 40 hour campaign followed by near-limitless breeding RPG goodness. Mario gives you a great linear path with many non-linear approaches to it. Ironically, Metroid is the opposite of Mario. The franchise is about non-linear paths with a completely linear approach. The player will always have to get the morph ball first, then collect every other key item in a specific order. Metroid doesn’t need narrative depth, despite what Metroid: Other M is trying to prove.

Also, God tells you to stop global warming after you fist fight the Pope in Assassin’s Creed 2. You no longer have to play the game.