I woke up last Sunday morning feeling very thirsty…  So thirsty, in fact, that I felt as though a mere mortal’s drink like water would not satisfy me.  No, I required something stronger.  Something GODLY.  I called up Cory and Josh and soon afterward we were headed to our local 7-Eleven convenience store to obtain what I needed – a Blackberry Lime Kratos Slurpee.

Shortly after pouring our drinks, we set back to my apartment to give them a try.  As a fan of the God of War series, I figured that this Slurpee would be on par with the games on the epic scale.  Saying I’m wrong would be an understatement in this case.  Instead of writing an incredibly descriptive and captivating paragraph on how the drink failed to dazzle me, I’ll let Cory do that and show you these pictures of me instead:

As you can see, I was pretty excited about trying this Slurpee.  After the first taste hit my tongue I didn’t know what to think.  With a few more sips, I decided it really wasn’t that great.  But I finally concluded that the drink was worth finishing and enjoying, despite my previous disdain for the horrible combination of blackberries and limes in slushie-beverage form.

Here’s what Cory had to say about Sony’s marketing of the God of War Blackberry Lime Slurpee:

“Honestly, the whole idea just felt half-assed in comparison to that of Dante’s Inferno. I understand the logic behind it, with a game that has an incredible following and is already expected to be a Game of the Year contender, marketing strategies really only need to play second fiddle.  However, that still doesn’t mean the lack of effort won’t make me Cory Jacobs and the Infinite Sadness.  Think about it, growing up, the best part of waiting for a new cartoon series or a summer blockbuster was the promotional hype, right?

Collecting the toys, comics, candy and other extraneous paraphernalia that was solely made to rot in a drawer or shoe box a mere two days after release was the ticket!  The problem these days is that press bought on these kind of games is only going to result in disappointment.  Triple-A titles can sell themselves so there really isn’t a reason to spend anymore of that hard-earned shareholder money on them.  Sony is a whore when it comes to this.

Again, it makes sense, and while I can agree with it on a business level it still disappoints me.  So to bring this full circle, the Slurpee reminded me of all these things…  so I suppose if Sony’s master plan was to help me channel the sadness and rage of Kratos with a bum-fuck promotion that furthered my hatred of their terrible marketing department, they’ve succeeded.  But I don’t think they’re that smart, and ultimately it missed the key mark in not tasting like the ashes of my dead wife and child. Final verdict… fail.”

Has anyone else tried the Slurpee?  I want to hear other people’s opinions on this, and also better ideas for future marketing strategies that not only Sony could use, but other gaming companies as well.