It has been said that women can’t play first-person shooters because they don’t aim when they pee. It’s scientific fact. Luckily though, video game developers have recognized this horrible affliction and have already begun taking the steps necessary to help female FPS gamers everywhere. Coaching software and training applications are being developed and refined more and more each day, and soon there will be no excuse. With the help of these innovative tools and services, gaming scientists are hopeful the misogyny inherent to FPS gaming can one day be controlled, possibly even reversed.

Just last week, students at the prestigious Abertay University in Dundee, Scotland announced their free Play2Improve: FPS Trainer service is now available as a pre-alpha release to help educate and prepare gamers everywhere for competitive FPS play. The browser-based game consists of intelligent programming that detects the player’s skill level and assesses gamer tactics to identify weaknesses and help improve both efficiency and reaction speed. The first of its kind, FPS Trainer promises to not only to help you with online gaming, but also to boost your performance on consoles as well.

This is wonderful news for all you aim-impaired ladies out there. No longer is the engrossing world of multiplayer FPS a thing of mystery to the fairer sex, and as I already said, with the new Play2Improve services there is no longer an excuse for your terrible shooting abilities. So go and get the pre-alpha download over at FPS Trainer.com

Note: For all you iPhone and iPod Touch-owning ladies out there, another handy tool to help practice your aim is the splash-hit application Drunk Sniper. True ‘bathroom humor,’ Drunk Sniper is a realistic toilet game that consists of keeping your stream in the bowl. Now you can practice like a man while you’re sitting down on that cold porcelain throne. Drunk Sniper allows for FPS practice whenever, wherever, right at the tip of your fingers. Now there are no more excuses for your shitty (no pun intended) gameplay anymore! See you out on the playing field, bitches! (I meant that in a good way).