Oddly enough, Seth Killian had mentioned that Hakan, a burly Turkish oil wrestler, was going to be pretty bizarre, and had what he thought was some of the craziest (read absurd) ultra moves in the game. Take a look at the footage yourself and have a gander at what Capcom feels represents Turkish oil wrestling down to the most minute detail…

The silliness is quite silly, but I have to admit that I am intrigued. Last, here is a match video of Hakan fighting Juri, another of the new characters, note the silly English voice overs.

So that is the last of the new characters for SSF4. Expect more footage and info on the character as we get closer to the April 27th release, including whatever super secret extra stuff owners of the original SF4 will be unlocking in SSF4.

Any gamer could tell you the story to The Legend of Zelda. It’s about an eleven year old boy traveling the world and collecting things to defeat Ganon and save the princess. The most important part of this narrative, however, is not defeating Ganon. Past experience will already tell you that Link saves Zelda. Knowing that Ganondorf gets stabbed in the head at the end of the game doesn’t make me stop playing.

Zelda’s emphasis is about going through the world and collecting heart pieces, weapons, and other fun items. After perusing the menu screen, the player knows that gathering items is going to be their key objective for a majority of the game. Because this knowledge is gathered early, there is nothing in this game to spoil.

As a game, Mass Effect 2 is also spoiler-proof. As a player, Commander Shepard will meet and recruit a bunch of awesome aliens to join his party, he will go to funny planets and make the population a little bit happier, and then he will fight some major bad guy and (maybe) live to see another day. He can also make the galaxy a crappier place; it depends on who he decides to shoot. Gamicly, these are the beats of action in Mass Effect 2.

The narrative, however, is where people get their panties in a bunch about spoilers. As Shepard goes about saving the world, a bunch of crazy shit happens (or doesn’t happen) that makes Shepard’s life a little bit harder. Ultimately, every choice Shepard has to make follows a simple path dictated by who Shepard decides to kill. Those choices branch out into other characters dying, but it all boils down to the player. Nothing is spoiled because the player dictates the events in the game.

Going back to Zelda on NES, the player could spend the whole game in the first area dealing with the Octorok. The player can dodge the rocks the enemy fires, or they can deflect it with his shield. The player could do these two things until the game’s internal battery dies. It doesn’t make a particularly interesting game, but knowing that this is an option doesn’t spoil the game.

People who get fussy over spoilers are playing video games for the wrong reasons. If people want a story-heavy experience, read a book. If someone want to personally interact in a world, and this world has an interactive structure based around the players actions, play a game. The interactive structure may be blended with an epic storyline, but games are about first-person experiences. Not authored narratives.

Nintendo knows what games are ultimately about. Zelda’s structure is wonderful. Pokemon gives you a predicable 40 hour campaign followed by near-limitless breeding RPG goodness. Mario gives you a great linear path with many non-linear approaches to it. Ironically, Metroid is the opposite of Mario. The franchise is about non-linear paths with a completely linear approach. The player will always have to get the morph ball first, then collect every other key item in a specific order. Metroid doesn’t need narrative depth, despite what Metroid: Other M is trying to prove.

Also, God tells you to stop global warming after you fist fight the Pope in Assassin’s Creed 2. You no longer have to play the game.

I woke up last Sunday morning feeling very thirsty…  So thirsty, in fact, that I felt as though a mere mortal’s drink like water would not satisfy me.  No, I required something stronger.  Something GODLY.  I called up Cory and Josh and soon afterward we were headed to our local 7-Eleven convenience store to obtain what I needed – a Blackberry Lime Kratos Slurpee.

Shortly after pouring our drinks, we set back to my apartment to give them a try.  As a fan of the God of War series, I figured that this Slurpee would be on par with the games on the epic scale.  Saying I’m wrong would be an understatement in this case.  Instead of writing an incredibly descriptive and captivating paragraph on how the drink failed to dazzle me, I’ll let Cory do that and show you these pictures of me instead:

As you can see, I was pretty excited about trying this Slurpee.  After the first taste hit my tongue I didn’t know what to think.  With a few more sips, I decided it really wasn’t that great.  But I finally concluded that the drink was worth finishing and enjoying, despite my previous disdain for the horrible combination of blackberries and limes in slushie-beverage form.

Here’s what Cory had to say about Sony’s marketing of the God of War Blackberry Lime Slurpee:

“Honestly, the whole idea just felt half-assed in comparison to that of Dante’s Inferno. I understand the logic behind it, with a game that has an incredible following and is already expected to be a Game of the Year contender, marketing strategies really only need to play second fiddle.  However, that still doesn’t mean the lack of effort won’t make me Cory Jacobs and the Infinite Sadness.  Think about it, growing up, the best part of waiting for a new cartoon series or a summer blockbuster was the promotional hype, right?

Collecting the toys, comics, candy and other extraneous paraphernalia that was solely made to rot in a drawer or shoe box a mere two days after release was the ticket!  The problem these days is that press bought on these kind of games is only going to result in disappointment.  Triple-A titles can sell themselves so there really isn’t a reason to spend anymore of that hard-earned shareholder money on them.  Sony is a whore when it comes to this.

Again, it makes sense, and while I can agree with it on a business level it still disappoints me.  So to bring this full circle, the Slurpee reminded me of all these things…  so I suppose if Sony’s master plan was to help me channel the sadness and rage of Kratos with a bum-fuck promotion that furthered my hatred of their terrible marketing department, they’ve succeeded.  But I don’t think they’re that smart, and ultimately it missed the key mark in not tasting like the ashes of my dead wife and child. Final verdict… fail.”

Has anyone else tried the Slurpee?  I want to hear other people’s opinions on this, and also better ideas for future marketing strategies that not only Sony could use, but other gaming companies as well.

Let’s take a short history lesson here. Sonic The Hedgehog (That’s right, capital ‘T’ in ‘The’. First, Middle, Last name as trademarked by Sega) in its 2D form exist as Sonic The Hedgehog 1, 2, and 3 and also Sonic and Knuckles. The original Sonic The Hedgehog was produced and packaged with the Genesis console and was intended to be the Mario killer to get the Genesis to compete with the SNES. It was a decent game but also the first game in the series and it didn’t quite have all the kinks worked out. Sonic The Hedgehog 2 nailed it and stands out as the gem of the franchise even though it introduced us to one of the worst game characters of all time with Tails. Sonic 3 was a step backwards and Sonic and Knuckles took the legs out of the franchise literally. It slowed the game way down by adding more platforming elements and jumping puzzles.

Now back to the present day and keeping in mind that the 2D games are not nearly as good as you remember them to be, the new release is already setup for failure. The game is going to be sold exclusively as a download on WiiWare, Playstation Network, and Xbox Live Arcade. What this should tell you is that they don’t have a good enough game with enough content to put it on a disc and sell it in stores. With the recent success of a game like New Super Mario Bros Wii, you would think that Sega would be chasing those dollars down just as they have been doing with the Mario Factory for years. Sega has released game after game that is nearly a direct descendant of a recent Mario game from 3D platformers to arcade racing sims to DS RPGs. They have even been collaborating with Nintendo on the Mario and Sonic at the Olympics games but this attempt to duplicate the success of NSMB Wii will fall short.

So what’s the final verdict here? While it’s a relief to see that Sonic won’t be suffering through a new 3D piece of crap, don’t get your hopes up for this one. Sega needs to let Sonic go the way of the Dreamcast and live on fondly in the memories of our childhood. Or perhaps he can die a slow death at the hands of Mario in the new release of the Smash Bros series just as he has been doing on store shelves for years.

Games on Demand… it needs to be better. Stop wasting everybody’s time but releasing games that are more than a year old. Valve changed PC gaming with Steam and it is time you changed the entire gaming world with Games on Demand. Let me tell you how you can do it.

The first thing you need to do is get publishers on board to start releasing games on GoD sooner rather than later. Give 2K Games a call and get Borderlands ready to go. And don’t be stupid and charge $60, give a discount and sell it for $50 tops. Advertise the shit out of it and as a bonus anybody who buys the game the first week will get the Mad Moxxi’s Underdome Riot DLC for free.

Do the same thing with Assassin’s Creed II. Start talking with Ubisoft right now and get the game on GoD as soon as possible. There is no reason to sit on your ass with this shit. Again, charge $50 and include both of the DLC packs for free for the first week.

You really need to be doing this for every major release on the Xbox 360. Once the games are available, you can start offering limited time offer sales on games. You just had a 75% off sale for Batman: Arkham Asylum on Games on Demand on PC. You also released Bioshock 2 on GoD on Windows the same day as retail release. In the PC world, you are just playing catch-up with Steam and you have a long way to go so you need to focus on the Xbox 360 to make people notice.

Halo: Reach is right around the corner. Obviously the game is going to sell like crazy but it is going up against some pretty heavy hitters this holiday season. You need to offer people as many ways to buy this game as possible and a simultaneous release on Games on Demand needs to be one of them.

If you can do everything that I have listed here then we can talk again in November. Games on Demand has the potential to be the number one channel for people to access video games. But you need to take it one step at a time.

Sincerely yours,

NamelessTed

This is seriously amazing. My guess is that when Bungie said something earlier this week that they were going to drop a bomb next week, it was this footage. Fortunately for us, it got leaked and is available for our viewing pleasure. I don’t really want to say much about the video because it pretty much stands on its own but I think Bungie is really going to out-do themselves with this game JETPACKS!!!!

I wake up early in the morning, hit ^ to get out of bed, I turn around a few times not knowing how to walk properly and then finally get my short dumpy ass to the bathroom. I have some options. so I decided to press >. I turn on the water and wash my hands. Press < to pull out my lucky red hat. I shake my controller sideways to get my cap snug over my bead-head. I hear a loud bang and scream from downstairs… My hands start shaking, pulse is racing! A range of emotions hit me. X – Fear, O – Anger, [] – Denial. I run down the stairs to make sure my family is ok… I see a big green pipe but hit ^ just in time to jump over it. No! Peach! I see her getting thrown into a giant airship by some-a-kinda koopa! I miss hitting X in time and fail to grab my Star power-up and like a flash… The Princess was taken, why…. why…. Sad piano music swells… Super Mario Logo Appears.

What are you willing to do to save someone you love?

Now, if your playing Heavy Rain, it may not have hit you yet… but let my revelation sink in with you, “Holy shit i just spent $60 bucks for verbalized subtext!” But it really is OK to think that, because this unique style is new, exciting(to some), and is another step in the advancement of interactive media. Heavy Rain is a game that you have to just let happen, just like the snap responses the therapist that you will need after playing this game too much is looking for when reviewing Rorschach ink plats. Heavy Rain is a Hardcore murder drama that does its best to put its characters through the emotional wringer, and succeeds. Critics have torn Heavy Rain’s methods to hell and back so I’d rather not re-hash the same banter on how groundbreaking it is. I’d rather talk about how its effectively ruined/enhanced every single video game I have every played or will ever play again.

Lets talk about Storytelling and an important element that we never really realize is there but is always ever-present.

Subtext(sŭb’tĕkst’) n. – The underlying personality of a dramatic character as implied or indicated by a script or text and interpreted by an actor in performance.

Now that we know what subtext is, and given Heavy Rain’s dramatic and invasive thinking out of every motive has got me thinking… What was REALLY going on in Mario’s Italian dome as he continued his search for the Princess?

I plugged in my NES, blew into my SMB cartridge, and slid that bad boy into the system. Turned on the system and got busy. Crap… blank screen. Alright, let me blow on this somebitch again, sloooooly slide it in while holding my thumb on the bottom part, before I hear the click lets turn it on… logo? Sweet, click it and we’re off.

Okay, Mario, the princess was just kidnapped, what could he be thinking?! Fear, Regret, Anger, Remorse? Lets go with Anger. Mario goes rage and says “I told her to make-a sure she a locks the door when a she comes back from tha kingdom!!” Lets break some fucking bricks! BOOM BOOM, alright now we’re really getting into the characters emotions. Bricks broken and I find some coins on the ground, what do you do? Take them, leave them, donate them? Lets take them. Mario picks up the coins and says “My mushroom stash is-a low, I can-a use this to score some more.” Ok, we’ve got bloody knuckles and and some cash… Enemy goombah ahead! What do you do? Jump over, smash turtle on it, jump around it, reason with it? First lets see what Mario is thinking – Determination, compassion, coffee, mushroom. OK ok, lets go with the mushroom. Mario deals with his internal struggles, “I feel like-a such a pussy without my mushrooms, I see the way the princess looks at me when im’a tiny.” Not really relevant, but ok, lets make a decision, lets be good and jump over the guy, if I can get around violence I will. Mario sighs, “I know you’re just a lil squishy face weirdo, Im’a let you live to walk off a cliff another day!” Im getting emotionally exhausted, lets take a quick look at the character progression.

So far my Mario is a Drug addict Thief with anger management issues who is insecure about his stature and is a pacifist and I’m only about 30 seconds into this venture. I Can’t fucking do this anymore. DAMN YOU HEAVY RAIN! But no, Mario needs me, He needs to save that princess! I continue.

At the lava filled castle of world one, I finally see him, that bastard who stole the princess. I’ve got some options here, Compromise, Anger, Intimidate, or Rationalize. Lets try to rationalize with the freak, I’m no murderer. Mario says, “You have love ones too right dragon? What would you do if I stole the love of your life? Let me through, everything will be ok.” NICE MARIO! Good stuff, but the Koopa is confused and responds, “You don’t look like a gay, but you’ll never get my prisoner!” Strange, but whatever, Im stuck… Im presented with Taking his life to save another, what will you do?! X – Kill, O – Let live. I have no choice, I have to kill him. Mario says, “I don’t wanna hurt you fatty, but you’a leave me no choices. Im’a kill you now!” As Mario chops the Rope with the axe you see the Koopa fall slowly into the searing lava, he yelps and screams for his life that you just took. You killed him… You murdered him… Mario gets ahold of himself and rushes into the dungeon and sees a Toad sitting in terror. Mario says, “Little Toad, you are free, but I need’a to know where the princess is!. Toad looks up, blood and tears coming from his fungus face and says, “Mario… Im sorry, but your princess is in another castle.” Mario falls to his knees and cries out in terror of all the horrible things he’s done, and the knowledge of having to make all the same sacrifices over to save his beloved.

… Wow. What a tragically gripping and enthralling narrative. Im… I cant even think. What would it be like? What would I do? Can I move on? Do I have the strength? I, I don’t know anymore. Why did I not cry the first time I played this game… It was such a fun and upbeat game, for children even. DAMN YOU HEAVY RAIN… DAMNNN
YOUUUU!!

Will I ever get back to the light-hearted side of gaming without thinking about the consequences of every little action of my character and how it will effect his psyche? Will thinking every step out and living with every little choice be too much for me as I continue to try to enjoy my favorite games? I guess I have 2 options…

X – Continue, O – Give up.

Seriously, we do talk about all that stuff, it’s not your normal GolgoCast!

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Also, here is the picture of Rich fixing Cory’s Xbox:

I had a chance to talk with the creators of the show about Chiptune music and building a community.
Chris Mahoney (Boston 8Bit + Active Knowledge)
Nick Tamburo & LJ Frezza (Emerson Experimental Art)

Please excuse the crappy audio quality- I’m kind of new at this. Anywho- hope you enjoy!

To get in on experimental art with Nick and LJ check out:
http://ljfrezza.com/basement
To get free tunes from Active Knowledge go to:
http://listen.activeknowledgemusic.com/