Box Of Many Things: Ninja Gaiden Sigma

Welcome to the latest edition of the Box Of Many Things. This time I’ve been playing Ninja Gaiden Sigma, a remake/upgrade of the Xbox original. Since it’s taken me this long to get around to playing it, I think we can safely say this certainly wasn’t my reason for getting a PS3 in the first place.

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Josh's guide to creating your gamertag

While browsing these things called ‘the internets’, I’ve noticed that the general ‘gaming’ population has as, at best, a loose grasp on grammar and spelling. Now, while there is nothing I can do to help those particular aspects, I can assist on something else gamers fail at: their gamertags.

I assume many gamers give up rather quickly when picking out a gamertag and write down whatever comes to mind first. You see, that gamertag is the only thing preventing you from going online and playing with your douchebag friends, as we all know douchebags travel in packs. So you try to be cool and type in ‘TigerClaw, but it’s taken! Suddenly, you decide to add 29 to the end of it, and you’re off to the races. You just made your first mistake.

There are certain rules when it comes to gamertags, the rules link to handy examples of actual gamertags:

- No numbers at the end of your name
- None of that Xx or xX shit, as well as Zz or single letters like ‘xsomethingx’
- Only one letter can be substituted with a similar number, for instance you can replace an E with a 3
- You cannot just use your full name, nor your first name (without being clever, ie ‘RonCore‘) Continue reading…

Scribblefail: How to suck at scribblenauts

So, on Kotaku Stephen Totilo was given an advanced copy of Scribblenauts, and he wrote a little article about one of his experiences. This is odd; while Kotaku receives pretty much every game they rarely review or talk about them. Way to raise the bar Stephen, you’ve raised the quality of Kotaku from OK! Magazine to US Weekly.
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Gamestop Doesn't Hurt New Game Sales: Now Shut Up

Last week, on a whim, I decided to read a couple articles about David Jones, the creator of Crackdown (the videogame, for realz). Apparently he found used games in his vagina and is now contributing their sale to the lack of new games sold. In particular, his game. This also reminded me of when I read about how Dead Space sold 1.5 million copies while 3 million people have played it. This may sound alarming, but I assure you it is not. What is alarming though, is how much publishers and developers are bitching about the used game market.

To them I have one thing to say; suck my fucking cock. Continue reading…

Gaikai – Initial Impressions on Streaming Video Games

By now, you have probably heard all about OnLive, but I doubt you’ve heard of Gaikai. Gaikai was actually the first interactive-game-streaming nonsense to be announced, Onlive came later. Now I have certain choice words for both products, both good and bad, but before I elaborate watch this awesome video: Continue reading…

Puzzle Bobble: Love, You Don’t Get Enough.

In the event that you didn’t know, you really should have circled July 29^th on your game calendar, Space Bust a Move for the Nintendo DS (That is Space Puzzle Bobble for you “cool” people) is going to rock your puzzle game playing ass off. I thought I would give you a friendly reminder and take a look at why Bub, Bob, and that crazy bubble launching arrow thingie kick so much ass. Continue reading…

Battlefield 1943 – Don't Buy This Trash

In case you haven’t heard, the XBLA version of Battlefield 1943 is a bit wonky. The word wonky can be a bit general, so let me specify: THE GAME DOESN’T FUCKING WORK. Yes that’s right dear readers, you will pay $15 dollars only for having the pleasure of owning another EA title, rather than being able to play it. Internet peoples have been reporting that they either cannot connect to servers, or get extreme lag when they do. So why are these mouthbreathers complaining then, can’t they play single player? No you fucking cunt, the game is online only. But then again you take these sort of chances when purchasing an EA game, or should we say, interactive-titlescreen-demos.

The only reason I post this is because I read a recent tumblr blog post from Mr. Ron Workman himself which is titled “Dear EA Games: Fuck Your Shit!” Continue reading…