I have avoided Sonic games for a good long time now. The last one I laid my hands on was Sonic Heroes, which was an overall broken experience. Since then I neglected to care about the blue hedgehog with attitude; the series had gone off the rails into being unimaginative and frustratingly flawed. I didn’t want my childhood memories to take any more hits, as I was one of the kids who held Sonic in high esteem and adopted the Genesis over the Super Nintendo. I still believe the four Sonics on the Genesis are some of the strongest platformers of that early generation. The years have not been kind to him however, and the third dimension has nearly destroyed the credibility of Sega’s mascot. The continued redevelopment of the franchise has only succeeded in hurting the franchise, and the new additions only proved to be a departure from what made it so damn fun in the first place. The Sonic franchise isn’t about riding around on skates and using guns, it isn’t about running around with a sword, it isn’t about turning into a werewolf, and it for damn sure isn’t about Sonic experiencing a blossoming social life with other random animals with attitude.

There was once a time when this mascot went head to head with Nintendo’s plumber and during its height was even considered better by quite a large group. As time went on though, Mario continued to get better and better and Sonic continued to become an embarrassment to itself with each release being reminiscent of all those 80’s hair bands trying to stay relevant by dropping a new shitty album well after their prime. It didn’t work for Mötley Crüe, it didn’t work for Guns N’ Roses, and it for damn sure didn’t work for Sonic. Unlike these bands though, Sonic has seen a couple of releases recently that were strong and further proof that it was possible to make a good Sonic game.

For Sonic’s 20^th birthday we see the release of Sonic Generations, and I have no shame in saying that it is yet another good game in the series and a return to form for the blue guy. Sonic Team has finally gone back to what made the series so much fun, fast gameplay mixed with twitch based platforming. There is a story here and while it is mostly dumb, it is exactly what it needs to be; an excuse to make this a Sonic only game. Thank god for that by the way. The game opens with Sonic throwing a birthday party with all of his friends, then suddenly a monster appears and tears away the fabric of time and space, kidnaps his friends, and throws Sonic into a sort of limbo. In this Limbo, new Sonic is introduced to his child self, and they both learn that by running at high speeds through areas of their life, they can return time to normal. Not exactly scientifically sound, but it is an excuse to run really fast and play as both a 3D sonic from the likes of Sonic Colors, and an improved 2D Sonic from the likes of Episode 4.

Each level in the game is a re-imagining of a stage from every game in the series, from the good games to the bad. Thankfully, the bad game’s stages have been re-imagined into being awesome and often times a tad bit challenging. It is really fun going back through levels from Sonic Adventure and Sonic Adventure 2 (the only good 3D Sonics) in 2D, and overall the new sonic stages are more exciting with the way they move from 3D to 2D seamlessly. At times however, they are frustratingly bogged down by a wonky camera and the occasional action not performing the way it should. The homing missile move that sonic has adapted over the years adds to the fast jumps that rely heavily on quick reflexes that many of us have honed over the years, yet sometimes, it just doesn’t work out of nowhere resulting in a quick, unfair death. The camera will also tend to get stuck on a corner or refuse to function correctly, and these moments lead to a complete halt to the action as the player struggles to get things back on track.

2D Sonic, on the other hand, is solid in every single level, and some of the later stages are challenging and well designed. Making this all feel like a refreshing return to the status quo. The main game can go by just as fast as the action itself and if done doing the bare minimum, can easily be completed in less than 5 hours. What makes the experience last is the introduction of challenge stages that open up before boss battles after 3 levels have been completed by both Sonics. There are multiple challenge stages for each level and each of them can be played by both Sonics. The challenges range from more enemies in a redesigned version of the stage, to only 1 ring to get through an entire section, to racing against a doppleganger, to a ton more options. Most of these are a lot of fun and add a challenge to the game that otherwise is non-existent. There are some on the other hand that are incredibly dumb and ruin the fun, more often than not these bad stages are the ones that call on Sonics buddies to help out.

Seriously, screw all of Sonic’s friends, all they serve to do is hold him back from being great. Most of them commit the one cardinal sin of this franchise; slow the game down. These challenge stages are frustrating not because they are difficult, but because of how utterly bad they are. Luckily, these challenges don’t have to be completed to move on, but if you are a completionist, prepare to want to curse the day Sonic ever decided to have a social life.

Bosses do make a return to the franchise, with seven battles in total; they are all mostly well-built and sort of fun. I would have much rather had a boss to end each stage like they used to however, I didn’t much like the way things were laid out here. Each section of 3 levels is capped by a final boss in a random level designed only for that fight, which can only be unlocked by completing one challenge stage for each level. There is also the mid-boss type that is a fight with one of Sonic’s rivals, again in their own stage. Most of them are fun in their own way, but are definitely not a high-point in the game. The final boss is extra guilty for just plain being badly designed and the furthest thing away from fun.

Final Call: Sonic has returned to being a good game, and added with the apparently awesome Sonic Colors, Sega may have finally figured out what made these games good in the first place. I don’t think he will be at the level of greatness that Mario is at ever again, because while Mario continues to evolve with each release, Sonic has had to de-evolve in order to remember what made him awesome in the first place. Hopefully with time Sonic Generations can be looked back on as a step towards the greatness that one of my favorite mascots has always deserved. The game is very short and even with the additional challenge stages, it is only about a 10 hour experience. Sonic Generations as a whole is a good game. Not a great one, but a really good one worth a rental.

Pros:

• Fast and exciting gameplay
• Imaginative level design that is continuously exhilarating
• Most Challenge levels add a fair amount of difficulty to the game
• Beautiful graphics that add a layer of depth to each stage
• Remixed soundtrack is mostly great

Cons:

• Occasional camera bugs can lead to misjudging a jump or halting the action
• Fickle control scheme can sometimes break, leading to unfair deaths
• Challenge levels with Sonic’s friends are mostly atrocious
• Boss battles are either okay or bad

We are creeping up on November and have already seen the release of the first wave of big games released this holiday season with Rage, Dark Souls, and Batman Arkham City. As all gamers have been aware, the end of 2011 is going to be big. Really big. I have trouble remembering a year that had so many AAA titles being released all around the same time; it is going to be hell on our wallets. There are some other games creeping out during this time that deserve some attention, and attention I shall give them. Games that are going to be innocent bystanders in the FPS turf war between Call of Duty and Battlefield. Titles that may find themselves lost within the wilderness of Elder Scroll’s Tamriel and Zelda’s Hyrule. It’s interesting to me that there are so many smaller games that publishers are pushing out during a time when they are going to have to stand up against Batman’s rogues gallery and the witty action packed life of Nathan Drake. I feel that many of these titles would perform well on their own merit, but I fear that they will be overlooked standing aside these giants. It’s time to shed some light on these titles, and give them a small dose of the attention that they deserve.

SONIC GENERATIONS

Release Date: November 1st, 2011

Platform: 360, PS3, Wii, NDS, PC

Publisher: Sega

Developer: Sonic Team

Releasing In The Same Week As: Uncharted 3

Sonic has had a rough couple of years since his career took a dive in the new generation. Sonic Team released dud after dud for Sega’s big blue mascot which made those who supported the genesis back in the day weep, at least a little. Recently, things have been kind for our hedgehog friend with the release of the solid Sonic Colors for the Wii in November of 2010. A game that reminded those who gave it a shot why the blue hedgehog with attitude was once competition for Nintendo’s galaxy traversing plumber. There was also the arcade hit Sonic the Hedgehog 4 – Episode 1 which, while not great, was good enough to feel promising in the hands of someone who wanted to relive a special time when Sonic wasn’t a joke.

Sonic Generations had a short playable demo available back in June that got a good amount of people to sit up and pay attention. Sega released a second demo in October that is currently available for download but will soon be gone. For anyone who missed their first chance I strongly recommend giving it a download. Allow me to assure you, this looks promising. Sonic might be back, and by back I mean fun again. If Sonic Generations fulfills the promise shown in the demos and if Sonic Team gets a third hit in a row, the hedgehog may just start to race his way back into our hearts. I hope it does, because I have missed that blue bastard. I really have.

GOLDENEYE 007: RELOADED

Release Date: November 1st, 2011

Platform: 360, PS3, Wii, NDS

Publisher: Activision

Developer: Eurocom

Releasing In The Same Week As: Uncharted 3

A remake of a remake? While this may seem a bit odd and groan-worthy, let us all take a moment and look back on Rare’s original Goldeneye on the Nintendo 64…. okay, all done? Anybody who actually took a moment will remember how amazing it was. There is nostalgia here, and while owners of the Wii got a chance to play through this remake last year, those who don’t care about Nintendo’s system didn’t. The release was solid, receiving positive reviews for its recreation of all the classic levels and updating the old multiplayer that had at one time showed us that consoles could compete with PCs in the FPS genre.  Reloaded is going a bit further than just adding some HD flare to a year old Wii title. The graphics have been completely redone, and are very well done. While early reports indicate that the multiplayer is buggy, the possibilities on stage here are quite enticing.

This release will see a brand new campaign that acts as something of a challenge mode as well as some new multiplayer game modes. I have high hopes for this release, as I was a huge fan of the original and don’t much care for the Wii’s multiplayer layout. Goldeneye holds a special place in many a gamer’s hearts, and while Eurocom does not have the best of track records, last years remake was good and this one shows even more promise for us 360 and PS3 fans.

There really isn't much out there in the way of official advertisement for this game.

METAL GEAR SOLID: HD COLLECTION

Release Date: November 8th, 2011

Platform: 360, PS3

Publisher: Konami

Developer: Kojima Productions

Releasing In The Same Week As: Call of Duty: MW3 and Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

Recently we have seen a lot of classic games from the olden days come back with HD reboots, many have been the same games with updated graphics and maybe a few new additions thrown in to entice old players into reliving a game long since beaten. God of War, Sly Cooper, Resident Evil Code Veronica, Resident Evil 4, and Team ICO have ventured into that territory with some success. Others have completely overhauled the game and given us something fresh; Goldeneye, as mentioned before and Telltale’s Monkey Island games went that route. Metal Gear Solid HD disappointingly takes the former approach. However the collection includes Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty, Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater and Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker. Again leaving me a bit disappointed that the first MGS isn’t here, but I imagine it would take a lot more work to re-do than the other three, and since MGS HD Collection is a bit of a reskin, the budget must not have allowed for a complete overhaul of a PSx game.

Let us remember though, that not many MGS fans got a chance to play Peace Walker since it was a PSP only title. The game was a great entry into the confusing mythology of the world, and will now be playable for the mainstream audience. Any fan of the original series needs to give this a look, these are classics that I imagine will translate perfectly fine for modern gamers.

JURASSIC PARK: THE GAME

Release Date: November 15th, 2011

Platform: 360, PS3, iPad, PC

Publisher: Telltale Games

Developer: Telltale Games

Releasing In The Same Week As: Assassins Creed: Relevations, Ultimate Marvel Vs Capcom, Halo: Combat Evolved Anniversary, and Saints Row: The Third

Telltale Games is a company that many have come to trust with bringing back the classic adventure games that stay true to their source material. They have given life to Strongbad, re-introduced us to the awesomeness that is Sam & Max, made many look back on Lucasart’s classic Tales of Monkey Island, brought Back to the Future to the world of gaming the only way it could be done right, and will soon deliver upon us The Walking Dead game.

Jurassic Park is the next franchise they are tackling before The Walking Dead, and so far it looks rather promising. Telltale knows what they are doing, and bringing a Heavy Rain control scheme to the dangerous world created by Michael Crichton and brought to the big screen by Steven Spielberg makes for a game worthy of some attention. While some early reports out of July’s Comic-Con lead to some concerns with the slower mechanics during the dino attacks and the general character design, it appears the developers addressed these issues and fared better with its appearance at PAX in August.

Let us also mention that it will be released at a lower price point for a full title, and at $39.99 it may be worth a look.

RAYMAN ORIGINS

Release Date: November 15th, 2011

Platform: 360, PS3, Wii, NDS,  PC (Vita in 2012)

Publisher: Ubisoft

Developer: Ubisoft Montpellier

Releasing In The Same Week As: Assassins Creed: Relevations, Ultimate Marvel Vs Capcom, Halo: Combat Evolved Anniversary, and Saints Row: The Third

THIS GAME NEEDS SOME LOVE! Out of anything on this list, and over quite a few of the AAA titles, this game is on my personal must have list. Some gamers may remember that Rayman and Rayman 2 where some of the most solid and beautiful platforming games ever created. This is a series that made Ubisoft and made it possible for them to make games like Rainbow Six, Splinter Cell, Prince of Persia and Assassins Creed. The current market has been spoiled by some stellar 2D platformers on Live and PSN with games like Super Meatboy and ‘Splosion Man, but let’s also consider that the Wii has recently seen the release of Kirby’s Epic Yarn and Donkey Kong Country that were both released as full retail 2D platformer titles that did rather well.

Everything I have seen of Rayman Origins points to a beautifully animated and difficult game that shows nothing short of a developers love for what they are doing. With new characters being introduced to the series that all look fun to play, a co-op element that is bound to be chaotic, and a beautiful world to explore, this is a game that deserves attention. It deserves to be a hit, and I have a feeling that this will be a critical darling that will sadly be overlooked by the general market. I personally am just as excited for this as I am for Skyrim.

SERIOUS SAM 3: BFE

Release Date: November 22nd, 2011

Platform: 360, PS3, PC

Publisher: Devolver Digital

Developer: Croteam

Releasing In The Same Week As: WWE ’12

Serious Sam promises to be a return to the old school shooter style that Duke Nukem: Forever should have been. Anyone familiar with Serious Sam knows that it is a chaotic experience where enemies are thrown at you from every direction. It is a frag-fest full of some of the weirdest enemies ever imagined. (For example, a rhinoceros velociraptor skeleton.) Serious Sam 3 offers a bloody experience and some cool looking melee attacks. You can rip out a one-eyed crawly creatures eye and then throw it at another enemy or rip open a guys chest and remove his heart that you can then…. throw at another enemy.

Serious Sam 3 will offer 16 player co-op and a bevy of multiplayer modes that, at this stage, competes with the number of and creativity of the game modes offered in Halo: Reach. (For you haters out there, Halo has got one hell of multiplayer game mode line up that is untouched by any other series.)  Here’s hoping Serious Sam turns out as fun as its predecessors, and finds an audience within the mainstream. I’m hoping it is going to have that classic feel that Duke Nukem: Forever missed out on mixed with the fun insanity we saw from Bulletstorm earlier this year.

There we are, a spotlight has been put upon some games that will likely be overlooked this holiday season. I hope they all turn out as great as they are looking, and make a splash to compete with the behemoths they will be going up against. They will all need a lot of luck in order to survive, but I’ll be looking at them, and I hope many other gamers will be too.

SEGA has a beautiful way of announcing a new Sonic game just about every year and claiming that the newest title is going to be THE Sonic game that fans have been hoping for. And with each release, SEGA beautifully disappoints almost everybody. To their credit Sonic Unleashed, Sonic 4, and Sonic Colors all received marginally increasing review scores compared to the 2006 “Sonic the Hedgehog”. It is now time for Sonic Generations to step up to the plate.

Sonic Generations sets out with the grand goal of combining the best elements of classic Sonic with modern Sonic. Part of the game plays as an old school side scroller while the other plays more like the Sonic Adventure series. One of the more interesting things is how they take a Sonic Adventure level, like the opening city escape, and convert it into a side scrolling level and vice versa. The idea of taking something old and making it new, while appealing to nostalgia, is something I think everybody can appreciate.

The demo for Sonic Generations, however, shows few signs of delivering on the potential. The first problem is the fact that the demo features a single level,  the same first level we have all played for the past 20 years. SEGA did the same thing with Sonic 4 and I can’t figure out why they would do it again. Considering the level takes all of 2 minutes if you suck at the game, SEGA has now put out the two shortest demos in existence. I spent more time downloading and waiting for the game to load than I did actually playing the demo, minus the couple of repeat plays.

The second big issue that concerns me is the terrible blurring of everything on screen. You can’t see it in screenshots but as soon as Sonic gets up to his full speed next to nothing is actually visible. I can’t tell if this issue is being caused by low frame rate, a rendering effect or both. What I do know is that it makes it very difficult to play the game and it strained my eyes after a while. I don’t think I can stress enough how instantly noticeable the blurring effect is. It makes the game difficult to both look at and play.

Visuals aside, I did enjoy most of what the game had to offer. It appears as if they have removed the silly enemy lock-on mechanic, a welcome change. The jumping and spinning and overall speed of the game do feel improved from what I remember of Sonic 4. It is hard to get a good feel for the game based on a single level but the foundation is there. I am still looking forward to getting my hands on the finished game but my expectations have been taken down a notch. I still think the best version of Sonic that I have played recently is the fan made remix. With the game coming out in November, Sonic might become the game I play to take a break from Skyrim or Assassin’s Creed: Revelations.

This week I’ve decided to show you all one of my favorite gems from the Sega Saturn. By now you’ve all played Castle Crashers or, at the very least, you’ve heard of it. Still, if you’ve been under a rock for the past couple of years, I’ll fill you in. Castle Crashers was a brawler with an RPG element in it, wherein you level up and get to put points into different stats, making your brawling that much more RPGing. Long before Castle Crashers was even a brainseed, there was already a game that delivered this amazing combo: Guardian Heroes.

One thing that Guardian Heroes did fantastically was manage to have one of the most ridiculous stories ever. Guardian Heroes begins with you and your friends chilling out in your apartment, checking out this cool sword you totally just found. All of a sudden the cops–led by Selena, a knight in red armor– show up and set fire to your place. You beat ‘em up until the fire becomes too much and run down the street to the local graveyard. There you fight more soldiers and the leader of the Black Knights, Valgar, who throws robots at you. Your dumb friend attacks the robots with your sword and gets electrocuted. The sword floats towards a mound of dirt. Some crazy magic shit happens and then a skeleton in golden armor pops out of the ground. He LOSES HIS SHIT on the robots and breaks them like they’re his red-headed step children. Then he starts attacking you and you say “please stop,” …and it fucking does. You now control a psychopathic skeleton ready to kill on your command. THIS IS ONLY THE FIRST FIVE MINUTES.

Seriously. The game just gets way more intense from there. I didn’t even mention the witches and zombies that show up right away. There are quite a lot of different paths for you to go; I’m still not sure I’ve seen every possible ending. By the end of the game you’ll have a chance to dethrone a tyrant, fight a giant army of super killer robots, go to Hell and kill everyone, and then go up to heaven to punch God in the face. No matter which way to go you are guaranteed to have a ridiculous time with it.

What I find completely batshit crazy is that the game does everything with a dead pan face. It takes itself way more seriously than it ever should. That kind of works to its advantage; if it was pointing out how ridiculous everything was, I think my brain wouldn’t be able to wrap around it. Also, seven-year-old Mr. Pharisee was a lot more capable of taking this crap in.

Basically there’s the Sky Spirits (heaven) and the Earth Spirits (hell) and they hate each other (duh) and humans were caught in the middle of this (fuck) until the Sky Spirits gave them magic (yay!) and the humans then sided with them to banish the Earth Spirits (to hell) but the Sky Spirits were jealous of the powers they had given humans (…what?) and then banished them as well to the dark place (seriously?!) so then the humans said “fuck spirits” and lived happily ever after.

Where do you come in? Oh, you don’t. The sword is what matters. See, humans made the sword to do shit against the spirits if they returned in human affairs (and they did) and the golden skeleton is some sort of chosen warrior who is supposed to fuck their shit up (and he does). You guys just happened to have found the sword. That’s it. Could have happened to anyone else. So why do YOU have to fight? Well… dude, you get to punch God in the face.

Shut up. Just go do it and you’ll get nookie forever.

Okay, I’m starting to realize that I’m writing this from the perspective of one character, or at least that’s how it appears to me. See, in Guardian Heroes you have the options of four heroes in the beginning. Han, a meat head who punches things with his sword; Randy, an apprentice wizard what shoots the fireballs and death; Nicole, a… I’m not sure… a medic? She heals, I guess. Finally, there’s Ginjirou, a wise old ninja. Well, he’s old at least.

The thing is, Randy is the ONLY character worth playing. He kind of sucks in the beginning; he’s not a strong fighter, and his magic, while powerful, runs out pretty quickly. You can regain it by punching things, but like I said, he’s not a strong fighter. However, once you level him up a bit, Randy is a flaming death machine. Literally. Boost his magic stats and just spam the fireball spell. It’s a homing beacon that does stupid amounts of damage and costs almost nothing to cast. Also, while he can’t really do damage, he stuns enemies like crazy.

If you’re worried about playing two players, don’t. Once you beat the game you unlock Serena as a playable character. She’s a balanced character, being good at fighting AND magic. Otherwise, just use Randy.

A couple more hints for those of you interested in picking this up but not wanting to get frustrated with it; there is a secret level that you MUST find. It’s in the beginning in the forest level. You have to kill every single plant before advancing to the next screen. Doing so will unlock a colosseum level. In here are the most powerful monsters in the game and they WILL hurt you. A lot. But if you play in here for a bit, you’ll level like nobody’s business. It makes the rest of the game so much simpler.

Also, when you go through the forest level watch out for the most dangerous of all enemies. This opponent has to be one of the most cock-blocky monsters of all time. From the second they enter the screen you know they’re there, and they spend the whole time making your life a living hell. The whole ordeal is made that much worse because you can’t see them. The best solution is to just have the soldier go beserk and explode on them. Do you know what this most deadly enemy is?

Guardian Heroes is just DRIPPING with amazingness. A great beat ‘em up style that incorporates magic that is not only easy to use but completely satisfying, a fighting style that involves moving between several different planes, and a story so ridiculously insane it could only come from the minds of Treasure. Want to know the greatest thing about Guardian Heroes? As I was writing this little nostalgic love letter, I found out that Sega is giving us all a little present later on in 2011 near my birthday.

You love me. You really love me.

SEGA Dreamcast’s arcade classic, Crazy Taxi, will be coming to a stop for its next fare when it’s released this November on the PSN and XBLA – great news for anyone that was hoping to see more Dreamcast revivals after Sonic Adventure was released.

“Crazy Taxi is the second installment in our Dreamcast revival, and we hope this release will prove every bit as nostalgic to fans as Sonic Adventure did last month!” said Haruki Satomi, VP of Digital Business at SEGA. While Crazy Taxi may not be the most-wanted title to be remastered (Jet Set Radio, anyone?), SEGA is taking a step in the right direction by continuing their trend of actually remastering titles from a system whose lifespan was tragically cut short by the release of the PS2.

Other features include high-definiton 720p visuals, and unlike the aforementioned Sonic Adventure, will be presented in true widescreen (i.e. no choppy or distorted visuals). Achievements/Trophies and leaderboard support is also set to be included in the remake. The game comes with two modes – Arcade Mode, which should be familiar to anyone who played the title when it was released in the arcade, as well as the previously Dreamcast-exclusive Crazy Box Mode, which tested drivers through a variety of “crazy” challenges.

Crazy Taxi is set to be released for 800 Microsoft Points on XBLA and $9.99 on PSN this November. For more information about the title, head to the Crazy Taxi website.

So Sonic 4 is finally out for XBLA and maybe some other platforms like PSN and WiiWare. I haven’t played the full release, but I can tell you that it is the most ridiculously short demo I have ever experienced. And I don’t just mean on XBLA, I mean of anything, ever. The demo consists solely of only the first level of the first stage. The time it took me to finish the level was just a hair over 1:30. If I figure in the time it took to launch the game, load the level, and then go back to my dashboard, I spent all of 3 minutes with it.

You should really just go download the demo if you are remotely interested in the game. Now that I think about it, it probably took you longer to get on your computer, go to our website, and read this post than it would to take to just go and play it. You should probably just stop reading this. Also, the best part of the demo was definitely the old school “SEGA” opening in the nice soft voice and its two note tune.

Sega released new screens and video of Platinum Games‘ upcoming release, Vanquish. Despite the terrifyingly bad Christian Bale voice acting, seeing this game in action has seriously given me hope for the future of innovative game design. Platinum Games appears to have, once again, made bullet ballet a smooth flowing work of art. New screen shots after the jump.

Platinum’s previous offerings have been pretty fantastic and widely acclaimed, and it seems they’re not resting on their laurels. Vanquish is scheduled to ship on October 19 and GameStop is currently offering an exclusive pre-order bonus of three additional in-game weapons: the Boost Machine Gun, the Anti Armor Pistol, and the Laser Cannon (pictured in the last screen shot).

Sega recently announced what many gamers have been hoping for years: a return to the 2D roots of the series. After years of failures in the 3D realm, Sega has made the move back to the fast paced 2D side scrollers that put them on the map as a console maker. Before you go getting too excited and all nostalgic, let me remind you that even this switch back to 1991 is going to suck. When is the last time that you dusted off your Genesis or hell even bought one the old titles on the current generation of consoles download services?

Let’s take a short history lesson here. Sonic The Hedgehog (That’s right, capital ‘T’ in ‘The’. First, Middle, Last name as trademarked by Sega) in its 2D form exist as Sonic The Hedgehog 1, 2, and 3 and also Sonic and Knuckles. The original Sonic The Hedgehog was produced and packaged with the Genesis console and was intended to be the Mario killer to get the Genesis to compete with the SNES. It was a decent game but also the first game in the series and it didn’t quite have all the kinks worked out. Sonic The Hedgehog 2 nailed it and stands out as the gem of the franchise even though it introduced us to one of the worst game characters of all time with Tails. Sonic 3 was a step backwards and Sonic and Knuckles took the legs out of the franchise literally. It slowed the game way down by adding more platforming elements and jumping puzzles.

Now back to the present day and keeping in mind that the 2D games are not nearly as good as you remember them to be, the new release is already setup for failure. The game is going to be sold exclusively as a download on WiiWare, Playstation Network, and Xbox Live Arcade. What this should tell you is that they don’t have a good enough game with enough content to put it on a disc and sell it in stores. With the recent success of a game like New Super Mario Bros Wii, you would think that Sega would be chasing those dollars down just as they have been doing with the Mario Factory for years. Sega has released game after game that is nearly a direct descendant of a recent Mario game from 3D platformers to arcade racing sims to DS RPGs. They have even been collaborating with Nintendo on the Mario and Sonic at the Olympics games but this attempt to duplicate the success of NSMB Wii will fall short.

So what’s the final verdict here? While it’s a relief to see that Sonic won’t be suffering through a new 3D piece of crap, don’t get your hopes up for this one. Sega needs to let Sonic go the way of the Dreamcast and live on fondly in the memories of our childhood. Or perhaps he can die a slow death at the hands of Mario in the new release of the Smash Bros series just as he has been doing on store shelves for years.

Just as American Idol attracts a subset of “singers” who have no business performing in public, Playboy is inundated with audition photos from women who simply shouldn’t be seen in public. Those are the girls Playboy puts in gaming shoots.

But there’s a more important question to be asked. Push yourself past the apparent fact that the girls used for Playboy’s Bayonetta lookalike contest are straight out of the trailer park (I know it’s hard, but try). Instead, ask yourself this: Did Sega pay to have this content produced as a means of disguised advertising, or is this collaboration between Sega and Playboy a pro bono job? Comment away.

As my gift to you, I’ve embedded the B-movie video clips of each Bayonetta below. I hope you like lollipops.

If any of this has somehow convinced you to play Bayonetta, you can get it at Amazon.com.

Thanks to BoobieBlog.com for tipping us off to this wonderful bit of material.

… and for Belisle’s take on Bayonetta, read the article he wrote a couple weeks ago.