The eponymous tomb-raiding sexpot is back in Square Enix and Crystal Dynamics’ newest release: Lara Croft and the Guardian of Light. The most recent installation of everyone’s favorite scantily-clad grave robber was announced back in August for XBLA (late September for the PS3 and PC) and just today is receiving its first major title update and free DLC. And who doesn’t want some extra booty to pillage, booby traps to spring and beautiful British backsides in their lives? I know I do.

Wait, what was I talking about…?

With new areas to explore, artifacts to collect, and ancient mythological gods to kill, LC: GoL gets down and dirty with the new DLC. The Download Pack titled, ‘All the Trappings’ really gives a much-needed jumpstart to the slacking sales of the XBLA game. And as a sign of good faith, or at least good PR, for the next 30 days the DLC is available for free on XBL Marketplace. (For all of you anti-Microsoft types out there, don’t fret; ‘All the Trappings’ should be coming to both the PC and PS3 sometime in November.)

The DLC features a whole new level to conquer, new puzzles to decipher and tons more ancient evil ass to kick. Online co-op gaming has also been added, which frankly should have been available from the start, but wasn’t because the developers were rushing to get the game released under Microsoft’s Summer of Arcade banner.

The Tomb Raider games have always been fun to play and despite the change of gameplay from third person to an isometric camera view, Lara is still looking good in those short shorts and tight-fitting tank top. So go download Lara Croft and the Guardian of Light tonight and play it with a friend, or play with yourself, but take it from me, doing it with a friend is much more fun than flying solo.

I told you not to bother me when I’m cleaning my tomb.

Fable III is coming out on October 26th and it’s looking like you are, again, going to be leading the Revolution against the tyrannical King Logan in the now-industrialized nation of Albion. In the trailer, we see that the player character is the one brokering deals with local Revolutionary tribes, giving orders to his troops, and taking control of the population using a combination of guile and outright war scenes. I’m looking forward to the change of pace from the predominately lone-wolf experience that was Fable 2. The big problem with this trailer is that I don’t see a dog; we know the dog is coming back, it’s just a question of how much of a role it’s going to play.

The “Revolution” launch trailer features the Black Angels‘ song “Young Dead Men.”

The game will be available in both the standard edition for your usual $59.99 while the Limited Collector’s Edition is availabe for $79.99 and includes a bonus quest, exclusive in-game location, “Fable III” playing cards, a Guild Seal Coin, the Boxer dog breed and a unique outfit for your male or female hero. The game is being released in the United States on October 26th.

The other day, Rich said something to me that really bothered me. He said that Monday Night Combat was “Just OK” and that it had “some issues to work out”. When pressed further, I was hit with a response that makes me believe he thought he was playing a different game.

The first point to touch on is that this is NOT a standard shooter. Monday Night Combat is a Multiplayer Online Battle Arena (MOBA) and its objectives go beyond just kills and deaths. I know it’s a new concept for you people, winning a game without having to reach a specified kill count, but you should really give it a try. I blame Bungie for bringing you chumps into my gaming scene. Since I have a severe lack of competent teammates, I am going to break this game down for you kids in hopes that you will suck less.

Monday Night Combat is an XBL game that pits players against players and throws robots in the mix too. There are six different classes (“Pros” as the game calls them) that you can choose from; Tank, Gunner, Support, Assault, Sniper, and Assassin. In addition to having different weapons, each Pro has a different skill set that consists of 3 activatable skills, and a passive one. You earn money by killing enemies on the map and then use that money to buy upgrades for your Pro. As you upgrade your skills, they become more powerful (obviously) and allow you to influence the battle in different ways. Once you have played enough to get custom classes, you will be able to change your endorsements; these give you things like extra health or a faster rate of fire. If you like Team Fortress and/or DoTA, this is the game for you.

The objective in Monday Night Combat is simple: destroy the enemy team’s Money Ball and you win. If the enemy team destroys your Money Ball, you lose. To assist you in this process, both teams automatically spawn robots that follow a set path around the map leading them to attack the opposing team’s Money Ball. The robots will undoubtedly meet at some point where they will kill each other off, unless of course, you are playing the game correctly. You see, your robots… they aren’t that great. They move and attack whatever is along the path to the Money Ball and stop whenever there is combat. So what needs to happen is a player needs to come along and help shoot the enemy robots down the path so your team’s robots can advance. Following me so far? Good. The more enemy robots you kill, the easier it is for your robots to attack the enemy Money Ball and bring down its shields. Enemy robots and turrets will prioritize to the closest unit, so if you stand a couple feet behind your own robots, they will take the fire and you are free to wreck shop.

On the flip side, you also need to kill the enemy players that are pushing robots into your base and keep your Money Ball defended. WOAH! Double Objective, what does it MEAN? Well it means that you have a team for a reason, and everyone needs to play their role. Before I can bitch at you for not playing your role correctly, I need to bitch at you for not knowing what the roles are. Ladies and gentlemen, I give to you the standard MOBA role definitions.

The Roles

• Carry
  Characters which specialize at killing other players through physical damage. Most characters that have wind-walk, an invisibility skill, or blink can fall into this category. Often these characters need to get more money than other classes.
• Disabler
  Characters who possess the ability to disable other characters, basically forcing them into a disadvantage while they attempt to fight or flee. Disables include any skills that move the enemy without his or her consent, stun an enemy, reduce movement speed, disallow movement, reduce damage, reduce attack speed, reduce armor, prevent physical attack, or prevent skill use. A good example of a stun is the Tank’s knockdown ability at the end of his level 3 charge. The Sniper’s trap is considered a root because while a trapped enemy cannot move from that spot, they can still look around and attack.
• Support
  Characters whose skills are meant to directly aid the rest of the team. Characters with healing or protective skills fall into this category. Pushers can be counted as support, although sometimes they can be used individually instead of working together with the team.
• Nuker
  Characters which possess the ability to cause a significant amount of damage in a single instant via use of an activated skill in lieu of a regular attack.
• Pusher
  Characters which can quickly destroy enemy towers, robots, and other players due to their ability to deal a lot of damage to an area of enemies.
• Tank
  Any WOWfags in the house? You should know what a tank is by now and if you don’t, stop playing video games. Tanks are big bad motherfuckers that eat damage and shit rocks. These classes are well suited for pushing lanes and killing Pros, but are also great on defense.

Now that we have the basic roles down, lets see how they apply to the Monday Night Combat classes.

Assault
Pusher | Disabler
The Assault’s grenade launcher weapon allows him to quickly push lanes as well as towers making him a great pusher. Level 2 charge gives him a great knock back ability that can be used to disable and/or ring-out opponents. His remote mine also has a knock back that can be used to ring out opponents.

As an Assault, you want to be escorting your robots down to the enemy Money Ball with your grenade launcher. If an enemy comes along, switch to your machine gun, pop a few shots off and then hit them with a charge. Make sure to position yourself and your grenades in prime spots for ring outs and be ready to use your jet pack if you end up getting knocked over the edge.

Assassin
Carry | Disabler
The Assassin is really good at killing other Pros and can move around the map quickly. Blind not only disables your opponent and stuns robots, but also gives you added mobility by increasing the height of your jump for a very short time. When the enemy Money Ball is exposed, the Assassin can do high amounts of damage to it quickly.

As an Assassin, you want to take out all of the assholes harassing your team. Your priority targets should be the Sniper and Support classes. Sneaking up on them for a kill makes life much easier for the rest of your team. The Assassin can also grapple Jackbots giving your team a fair amount of time to attack it without fear of retaliation. Use your blind ability to get out of sticky situations or disable a wave of robots about to crash your Money Ball. As an Assassin, grappling an enemy from behind will likely result in a kill. Some Pros can avoid kills from behind by getting the Armor endorsement as their gold or silver sponsor.

Gunner
Pusher | Carry | Disabler | Tank
The Gunner is one bad ass motherfucker. His minigun allows him to deal out massive amounts of damage to robots and Pros alike, on top of that he gets an added critical hit chance when deployed. He has a great disable in his slam that can be used to fend off pesky Assassins or even get a ring out. The Gunner’s mortar is extremely powerful as well, use it to push lanes, destroy turrets, and harass enemies at a distance. The Mortar’s splash allows you to be less than accurate when lobbing bombs across the map, and can do a ton of damage on a direct hit.

This character is great on both offense and defense so make sure you supporting the right side of the map! When teamed up with a Support class, the Gunner is a beast and really tough to take down. Push with your robots and deploy when you have a good position. If you know an Assassin is about to grab you, deploy yourself then immediately undeploy and start mashing the X button. 9 times out of 10 the Assassin will miss their grapple (due to the deploy and the delay between grapple attempts) and then get knocked back, preferably over the edge. You may want to get the Armor endorsement if you find your are dying to a lot of Assassins.

Tank
Tank | Disabler | Pusher
At first glance, I didn’t like this class at all, he seemed like a gimped version of the Gunner, but with the right endorsements he can be a killing machine. His charge is great for countering Assassins that grapple him unsuccessfully (due to his increased health from his class skill) and his spam grenade is amazingly annoying to enemy Pros. The Tank’s primary weapon is a jet engine that shoots out a huge jet flame. The closer you are to what you want to kill, the faster it dies. The alternate fire on the jet gun hits enemies in a radius around the Tank and does damage based on how much ammo is in your clip, grab the Ammo Mule endorsement to maximize this. His rail gun is like a really powerful no-scope sniper rifle with a slow rate of fire, use this one at a distance.

As a tank you prefer not to be out in the open, you want to be in the trenches and tunnels. Places where your enemies don’t have space to get away from your jet gun. Use your charge for ringouts and closing the gap when your enemy is just out of range. The spam grenade is the equivalent of a flash bang that only hits enemies and should be used often, there is nothing worse than having your vision blocked by a bunch of advertisements. Take a few pot shots from time to time with the rail gun, it will get you a lot of assists and your teammates will thank you.

Sniper
Carry | Support | Disabler
The Sniper can do a lot of damage from across the map to any enemy unit including Pros which allows him to earn money and build juice quickly. His traps are a great safeguard for your camping spot and his Flak is awesome for big battles, finding cloaked Assassins, and taking out turrets.

The Sniper is pretty kickass in this game. He can 1-shot kill people with head shots (unless they have face masks) and even though his Submachine Gun has a small clip, it will punish anyone that gets too close. Throw some traps down and make short work of any idiot dumb enough to get caught in them, head shots have never been easier. Support your pushing teams with your sniper rifle and then get in the action with your SMG once you’re juiced.

Support
Support | Nuker | Pusher
The Support class can do a number of things to help your team. Obviously healing should be a top priority, but he can also drain life from his enemies when he gets low. The heal/hurt gun works on Pros, robots, and turrets, this alone makes him extremely versatile. Additionally his air strike is great for killing anything within its blast radius, just be sure there is nothing overhead to block the bomb drop. On the flip side, if an enemy is on a platform above you, he will never see it coming when you drop the beacon on the floor. Firebases are mini-turrets that Support can drop to hold choke points and defend the money ball. Any turret, including firebases, can be hacked by the Support Pro. Hacking provides bonuses for your turrets and can take control over enemy turrets.

As a Support Pro, you want to make sure you are, ya know, supporting your team. Keep your teammates and robots healed to the max. Over-healing gives your teammates additional health beyond their normal max HP which can mean the difference between life and death when an Assassin comes creeping around. A fully upgraded Firebase will heal nearby units so be sure to position it in a highly trafficked area. Sticking airstrikes to enemy Pros is probably one of the most rewarding things in the game. Targets that are stuck take additional damage and will more than likely die from the hit. And please, for the love of god, use your shotgun on Pros. Stealing life is great, getting a 1 or 2 hit kill at close range is better.

You will probably find that some classes can blend and fill other roles throughout the game, but your best bet is to stick with what you’re good at… and by that, I mean what your class is good at.

I hope you now realize that you should not be trying to get the most kills in the game. In fact, with certain classes, it is possible to do everything right and not get a single kill all game, but ultimately you will be leading your team to victory. This isn’t Call of Duty, this isn’t Halo, this is Monday Night Combat and fuck you if you don’t like it.

There are plenty of ways to get Xbox 360 games today.  Digital distribution, rental services, and retailers are all available and thriving.  My recent experiences, however, have brought some ideas to light on how the concept of Xbox 360 game sales and distribution should evolve, and soon.

I recently came across the glory of Blu-Ray + Digital Copy combo packs.  I can fire up the ol’ Blu-Ray player and watch at home or check out the Digital Copy on the iPad, iPhone, laptop, or basically any other digital media player.  I can install Xbox 360 games on my console and I can also buy them through Games on Demand, so let me buy a combo pack and give me one license to install it on my Xbox 360 and still have the disc for my collection or to lend out.

Now explore creating a game rental service.  The demo system is hugely popular on Xbox, so expand on it.  Allow me to rent games for 400 MS Points for 3 days, or through a Zune Pass style all-you-can-consume plan at a reasonable rate, then give me the option to keep it if I like it by paying the difference.  This way I can jump into playing online for a weekend without breaking the bank and you can put the screws to GameFly without the need of a single warehouse.  It wouldn’t hurt Zune Marketplace exposure to have a combo subscription for unlimited game rentals and music downloads either.

Hell, let’s just lose the physical copy altogether.  Let me pre-order or buy new releases through Games on Demand on release date, but partner with Amazon for code sales and distribution.  This may seem like a bizarre route to go, but I can already buy Microsoft Point cards, XBL subscriptions, and XBLA games instantly on Amazon so this isn’t all that different.  We’ve talked about Games on Demand before, and it’s clear it needs work to be relevant but this would be a great first step. Amazon gives you the power to make digital copies of games competitively priced.  They actively compete with current sales at Fry’s Electronics, Best Buy, NewEgg.com, Target, and most importantly, GameStop.  Amazon would make Games on Demand a living, breathing store.  GameStop can undersell Games on Demand after just a week or two after release date due to the high influx of trade-ins, but used games are usually only a few bucks cheaper than a new copy.  Make people question if it’s worth it to go to GameStop in order to save a buck or two against Games on Demand for a used disc in a sticker infested case.

Installing an Xbox 360 game averages out to about 4GB per title.  On the new Xbox 360-S system, that equates to about 50 games.  Most people won’t complain about that, but for the ones that do, offer a solution.  TiVo gives me the ability to attach a storage extender.  If I disconnect it, it cannot be connected to another TiVo or computer without formatting itself.  Since I have to be logged into XBL to play my downloaded games anyway, offer a 1TB external HDD with similar constraints and your hardcore digital enthusiast is covered.

Lastly, and knowing full well that this is the longest of shots, grow a pair and make the Zune HD able to play XBLA games.  You may have to make some controller contraption for it, but done correctly you’d wipe the floor with 90% of PSP games out there on a comparable system.  You want to get Apple’s attention?  Put a perfect XBLA port of Castle Crashers on a Zune HD or Windows Mobile 7 phone and watch them sweat.  There are dozens and dozens of fantastic XBLA games that blow most everything on the App Store or Facebook away, so capitalize on that or lose the opportunity.  Don’t forget Amazon manages to give away 3G on every Kindle, so leverage them when you make your mobile community.

At last, Garou: Mark of the Wolves is up, SNK Fans Rejoice! I SAID REJOICE!

XBOX Live Arcade
Garou Mark of the Wolves

Genre: VS. Fighting
Developer: SNK Playmore
Past Releases: King of Fighters XII, Metal Slug 7,  Etc.
Published by: SNK Playmore
Price: 800 Microsoft Points XBLA Game Site
Size: 148 MB

Announced last week for Xbox Live Arcade in Japan, Garou: Mark of the Wolves had fighting game fans and old school arcade enthusiasts excited for a US release. Well after a surprisingly short wait, we are now privileged to be able to play this gem on our 360’s (ideally with that sweet ass SFIV Madcatz TE stick you got. You did get one right? RIGHT?!) Toss in local multiplayer (vs. mode) play, online ranking and match play, Arcade mode, and a swell Training mode, slap an 800 MSP tag on her and you have one happy monkey.

Mark of the Wolves, the last title in the Garou Densetsu series of fighting games by SNK, (known as Fatal Fury in the US) is considered by many to be the best entry to the series, and arguably one of the most polished and enthralling 2D fighters to come out of SNK’s huge stable of fighting games. Mark of the Wolves was originally released in 1999 on the SNK MVS (Multi Video System) arcade hardware weighing in at a whopping 688 MB (huge at the time considering the hardware). Mark of the Wolves was the 8th official entry to the franchise which was known for changing game play and art styles between games, and was looked at as the SNK counter to Capcom’s Street Fighter 3 series.

I really can’t say enough great things about Mark of the Wolves. First of all the game is beautiful. It is old school sprite work at its finest. 14 characters, (13 new, 1 returning) all hand drawn over gorgeous 2D backgrounds, Mark of the wolves was one of, if not the finest looking game to come out on the MVS hardware and hosts easily some of the best sprites ever made by SNK’s army of pixel pushing Picasso’s. The game is impressive looking even now, and animated very, very well.

Aside from the game looking so damn sexy, it plays great too. Fast paced 1 on 1 fighting with tons of mind games and layers upon layers of strategy. Mark of the Wolves introduced a slew of new fighting engine changes, moving away from the multi-plane shifting of the older games and playing like a more straight-up traditional fighting game (IE: Capcom’s Street Fighter series and SNK’s own King of Fighters series).
SNK added a “parry” style defensive move called “Just Defend”, fake special moves (to confuse opponents and construct combos), and a “T.O.P. (Tactical Offensive Positioning)” system that allowed you to select when you could use special TOP attack moves during a match. Mark of the wolves is quick, very competitive, easy to get into, and hard to put down.

Mark of the Wolves was released in the US originally on the Sega Dreamcast (I still love you!) as Fatal Fury Mark of the Wolves, close the DC’s death. Suffering from some minor port issues, it was somewhat tough to find and criminally underplayed. The Japanese PS2 saw Mark of the wolves released 4 times, once as the arcade port, twice as under the “Neogeo Online Collection” label (the second as a “limited edition”) then once more under the “SNK Best” collection. The Xbox 360 version seems to be a port of the AES (SNK’s Neogeo home console) version with a PS2 practice mode. The game plays in its original ¾ aspect ratio with original SNK art from the game as borders.

Mark of the Wolves sports a quaint little online mode that is really a mixed bag. There is certainly lag free games but overall the net-coding is not nearly as impressive as Super Street Fighter II: HD Remix, but definitely playable. For those who have been enjoying online multiplayer on PC via GGPO, there is definitely some getting use to, as the net coding is not nearly as well implemented as GGPO. That said, there is some very good matches to be had but as with any good fighting game, ALL serious matches should be handled face to face, on arcade sticks. (Man up you bunch of sissies, stay away from the d-pads.)

So there you have it, one of the best 2D fighters made on one of my favorite pieces of arcade hardware, packed with online play, practice mode and a nice “impulse buy” price point.
4 words…

RUSH THAT SHIT DOWN.

Hello readers! This is the first installment of what I hope to make a weekly article or set of articles in this case, in which I will cover new entries to the XBOX Live Arcade, Wii Virtual Console and Playstation Network. I will go a little into what games are coming out, what you are getting for your money and maybe even give you a mini- review, if I am so inclined. If I miss a game or you want me to go back and smack a game in the face with my fiery opinions of JUSTICE, speak up in the comments!

So without further ado, this week on MONKEY IN SPAAAAAAAACE!!!!…err.. wait, I mean, MONKEY IN THE MARKET PLACE!

XBOX Live Arcade

Magic the Gathering: Duels of the Planeswalkers

Genre: Strategy/Card Battling
Developer: Stainless Games
Past Releases: Scrabble (DS/PSP), Red Baron (PC, PS3), Atari Classics Evolved (PSP).
Published by: Wizards of the Coast
Price: 800 Microsoft Points XBLA Game Site
Size: 281 MB

After doing so well on PC it seemed like a no brainer to bring Magic the Gathering to the 360 as a normal release, (ideally with booster packs and theme decks in the form of downloadable content.) but it has arrived surprisingly as a Live Arcade game somewhat rich in presentation and depth, but lacking in cards, deck customization and ease of use.

Duels of the Planeswalkers, known from here on out as DOTPW (because I loooove acronyms.) is a strategy card battling game based on the table top collectible card game Magic The Gathering by Wizards of the Coast. Instead of bombarding players with a massive library of cards from the games 15 + years worth of expansions, set revisions and themed decks, players are give a handful of decks that you can unlock extra cards for. The game looks about as good as you can expect a card game to look, with a fancy play field, official Magic The Gathering card art, (which in all actuality is truly fantastic.) and little effects for tapping (putting a card into play, or using its actions.) attacks and various card statuses. Although the attacking/spell casting is not bad in any way, it could have used a bit more flashiness, as little scratches/ burn marks/slices appearing on the cards when they take damage are somewhat lackluster and ultimately slow the pace of the game down with very little payoff, which brings me to Magic the Gatherings DOTPW (Ha there it is!) glaring problem. It is slow as hell. Not slow in the sense that the game itself is slow, as people that play Magic know that it can get out of hand very quickly, but slow in a way that tapping animations, battle animations, various arrows and visual effects are somewhat of a hindrance when playing. When playing Magic with another knowledgeable player, things move smoother, turns are over faster and the pace of the game is brisk unless you are put in a pickle in which you need some time to think your options over. Very little time is spent on cards turning and imaginary lightning bolts striking Goblin Swine Riders. Actions are taken, spells are played, and creatures are summoned and play moves on. DOTPW seems to slow this down a bit with all the effects and presentation and although it is not ugly or annoying, it does slow the pace down a bit and makes games last longer than they typically would. Aside from that issue, I like how the game looks and sounds and the game is pretty, but again mostly because the card art is entirely shit hot.

Magic the Gathering is a very competitive and strategically demanding game and can be somewhat complicated to learn if you are a first time player. Luckily there is a pretty in-depth tutorial and glossary section to help new players out, or to freshen you up on new additions/changes to game play. Keep in mind that Magic the Gathering is HUGE and the game is deep as hell. Learning card types, effects and details/strategies that go into intermediate and advanced play is pretty complicated and will take some getting use to, but is ultimately very rewarding. Everything you need to learn, practice and have some fun playing Magic is here.

One of the best parts of getting into Magic the Gathering is using the cards to build your own customized decks, and unleash hell on your pals. Here is where DOTPW falls short. It only has a handful of decks (8) and full customization is somewhat limited. What you have is good, but there are TONS of cards in Magic the Gathering and having access to at least the core set and the most recent expansion would have been great, but I can see what Wizards of the Coast was going for as what is available is very playable and the cards selected do draw from various expansions that go back as far as the “Invasion” expansion up to “Shards of Alara” so you have some cool stuff to work with and ultimately, if this proves to be a positive experience for Wizards of the Coast, I wouldn’t be surprised to see a full fledged Magic the Gathering game in the future. As it stands, the game has the 8 decks and carious cards you can unlock for the decks which you can toss in to change up how the deck plays. Again, full customization is NOT available, but you can change things up a bit.

DOTPW is pretty rich in modes for a XBLA game and has the single player mode in which you battle with increasingly difficult opponents which reward you with more cards. The difficulty here is pretty steep, but you will learn and move forward. Experienced Magic players will still find some challenge here as well. The multiplayer modes allow for 2 vs. 2, (2 headed giant rules), ranked play and 2 – 4 player free for all. There’s a lot to do and I am sure that there will be a pretty decently sized player base to enjoy the game with. (Which is more than I can say for the VOOT players, where the fuck are you guys?!?!?)

So in a nutshell, she’s a complicated woman, but she is good looking and fun to be around. It adds up to a damn decent package for 800 Microsoft points. Demos are free people, give it a shot.